Has anyone ever asked you for your blog address? I've been asked by 3 different people and I'm getting a little concerned. Most people don't even know I keep one. It's not that I'm totally opposed to IRL friends knowing this side of me, it's more that I don't think it's appropriate to ask. It's like they're asking to read my diary. And I kinda don't want them reading it. Many times, it would be fine. But I'm not always roses and sunshine - many times I'm downright nasty! Plus one of the "requesters" is pregnant. She also happens to be very fertile, so right there you know she isn't safe from one of my private rants. In fact, I've already ranted about her...I wouldn't want her to feel hurt by the things I say, because once I spill it to all of you, the evil thoughts tend to leave me. Not only that but I don't feel judged here. Once IRL people read your innermost thoughts, judgment WILL take place. It's inevitable.
So, I ended up spending a large part of today trying to figure out how to keep my blog from popping up when my name was "googled." No luck. Any advice?
I did tell all 3 of my friends that this is a private place for me to be real, but what if they search it anyway? We're living in a facebook generation, where people think it is their right to peek in on each other's lives. Can I continue to be completely honest in this blog? Part of me feels like I can't. But another part of me feels like, Hey, you weren't invited to read this. So if I've said something to upset you, tough shit. This is just part of the problem with IRL friends when it comes to IF. They really don't have a clue. Thank God for all of you and my husband. Without you, I'd be terribly lonely.
Have a great week ladies. Thank you for being in my life!
Consumption 15
9 hours ago
I feel the same way - it is a private place for me and most of my IRL friends do not know/would not get the address from me. That being said, I only know of two things you can do - scrub all personal information (location, hubby's name, work, etc.) in your blog and use a pseudonym. I am an attorney and i place a period in attor.ney so if they google lisa and attorney, they will not see it. Or, like one of my other blogging friends, you can delete this blog and start a new one with no personal information or your personal information with periods in them like I described above.
ReplyDeleteOthers may have more ideas. I need my private place to vent.
I am so unloved in real life, I told one friend my blog address...and she never even read it.
ReplyDeleteRelief.
I didn't want her reading anyway.
.....and I have never put my 'real' name on my blog...which must have helped with the googling.
...then again, only 2 or 3 IRLs even know I blog, 'cause I've been pretty tight-lipped about it.
Good luck. I only want the rest of the world reading my life, but no one that is actually in it for the most part. ;-)
I agree with Lisa and Murgdan. My blog doesn't have my real name either. The only people IRL who know the address are the ones I've given it to. I too did not want to be googled and read by people that I hadn't "given permission" to.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time - if these are people you are close to, and if your relationships are personal enough for them to know your real feelings, I'd say go ahead and give them your blog URL! Some of my IRL friends who read my blog are very fertile, but our friendships are strong enough for them to read my ranting, and not get offended.
as you may remember i had to change blog domains....it was a fairly painless process, but annoying just the same. having said that...i think that there is something in blogger under the account settings that you can choose if you want your blog to come up in search engines. you could change that to no. you could also do some of the other things. you could also go password protected...just a few ideas.
ReplyDeletei totally get you. it is weird when they ask. like, duh...if i *wanted* you to read it i would have told you about it and given you the address myself!
When I started to blog, I needed a private place to vent. When I first found out about E's anejaculation, I tried to tell a friend but was unable to say the words. I just said, "We have been trying." Not elaborating much more. I needed to be able to talk with people who understood IF, not one's who pretended to know how I was feeling but instead provided advice less than worthy.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I do not blog with my real name, I use a nickname that I have had with a certain group of friends since kindergarten. If they stumble across my blog, oh well, they have heard it all anyways.
However, I did get 'wierded' out earlier this year. When someone used the search term 'Cat.ho.lic' to find my blog. At that point I pulled all the pictures off my blog because I did not know how many pages that one person had searched to find my blog.
But to protect my privacy. I turned off my blog's ability to get traffic from google. I did not want someone to stumble onto it. I knew it would provide me with less traffic but then I knew I wouldn't have some jerk, bragging that they could ejaculate- I got one of those comments early on that sent me to tears.
Yes, we live in a time of 'googability' and baring it all on facebook. I have made lists for facebook for all my 'friends'. The ones who get to see it all, are my IF sisters, why because they understand privacy. I do not allow my high school 'friends' who landed on my page because of our 10 year reunion to do much except look at the pictures that shows that I have more fun than they do.
Try www.google.com/analytics to access information about where people are visiting from. It will help as well.
Have a good week. HUGS!
I don't know about this one....I'm already "out". My boss's daughter got me started on blogger, so I know she reads it. I don't mind IRL's reading mine, but I just be careful about what I say. That kinda sucks, 'cause sometimes I just wanna b*tch about people! I rant about pregnant people too, I just try to apologize for ranting at the end. lol....I wonder if that works?
ReplyDeleteI have a page called "about Barren Womb", it states that I will be open and I will say what I want and if I hurt your feelings, I will not say I am sorry. Does this make me a jerk? No, I don't think so. Why should we have to be sorry about FEELING! We should be able to say what we want, when we want, and about who we want. If that person finds you then oh well for them. Most people don't get IF and have no clue what they say or do may hurt us, even trying to explain to them they just don't seem to get it. So I see nothing wrong with saying what you want on YOUR blog. We write what we feel in that moment in time, it may be rational, it may not be. I use my real name. It does not bother me for people to "find" me out. However, I don't think I would be to thrilled if people asked for my IF blog. I do have another blog that I have had for about 2 years now, although there I do not talk about IF. I just started this IF blog and have not told anyone but my hubby & my mother at this point. Anyways, sorry for going on. My point is, you should not be afraid to say how you are feeling.
ReplyDeletei totally get you. i wouldn't share with anyone if your gut tells you not too. I agree with you. Instead, maybe you can tell them that you'd rather have a dialogue with them and share on both ends when it comes to this side of your life. And then propose a coffee time. Would that work? You have the right to keep this separate.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's weird for them to ask for your address. But I haven't told anybody I'm blogging, so I've never had that happen. DH told one of his friends randomly (weird!), which freaked me out a little. But anybody who actually searched for me and found me...I don't know. I think I would feel a little like you said, if they cared enough to search me out, I'm not going to feel bad for what I said. Plus, they would probably be too embarrassed they searched for me anyway to tell me, and I figure ignorance is bliss. :) I do use analytics, and I've never seen anyone in my city google anything suspicious. Ok, I'm rambling now. But it is an interesting topic to figure out and think about.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a good weekend!!
Well, I am super, super paranoid about privacy...mostly because of how I vent about my IRL people. I am even paranoid about the photos of my dog that I put up! :) Someday I hope to be able to be less careful, though. Sorry, I know that probably wasn't so helpful for you. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Erica,
ReplyDeleteA blog can be a really great outlet for you to express yourself and get support from people who understand what you are going through. If some of your IRL friends see your blog and get a peak of what IF is, so be it. You are a very honest person. Please don't change!I'd hate for you to "tone down" your posts!
I know what you mean. My infertility blog is linked to my family blog, and I have been thinking of changing it especially since my little brothe's gf is pregnant. I'm a jealous brat right now!
ReplyDeleteI teach 6th grade, what do you teach?
Jess
My blog is super-secret. I haven't told anyone that I have this super secret blog and live in fear of someone finding it. (Okay, that's a total exaggeration. But it sounded better than "I'm a little nervous that a friend will find my blog." LOL) There is one coworker in particular who I have vented about and who travels in roughly the same blog circles (not the exact same blogs, but some of my blog friends are friends with her blog friends. LOL)
ReplyDeleteAnyway- there a few ways to stay off the radar, but it depends just how un-findable you want to be. One way is to make sure no personal info shows up anywhere on your blog- in your posts, your profile, etc.
Also, in your settings, it gives you the choice to choose "no" for the ability for search engines to find your blog.
Also, if there are particular posts that you don't want to be searchable, you can add the a specific html at the beginning of the post- on blogspot, you do this by going to "edit html" instead of just "compose" or whatever. I know I have it somewhere... I can look it up for you if that's something you'd like. :)
(I'm also a teacher! 8th grade...)
I found it:
ReplyDelete[META name="ROBOTS" content="NOINDEX,NOFOLLOW" /]
Except replace the square brackets with these: <