IQ Test Required for All Potential Parents

Have you ever noticed how many freakin' idiots are actually parents today?!?!? Let me tell you that I've seen my share and I'M SO SICK OF THEM!!!

I'm a fifth grade teacher in a pretty affluent district and I see all kinds of parents. Parents who don't give a shit, parents who give kind of a shit, parents who watch over everything you do (aka helicopter parents), and then, my favorite - the parents who think you should do just about everything for their child, including wiping their asses.

Being the dedicated professional that I am, I decided to check my work email on a Sunday. Why, oh why, would I do something so stupid?

I came across yet another email from Mrs. Makes Excuses. Mrs. ME had the audacity to complain that her child "cried" all night after being held accountable for work that was due last Thursday. This particular mother wanted to inform me that her child wasn't being "deviant," (uh, what?) but just didn't understand her responsibilities. My internal response: "No shit, you don't say, Mrs. ME! I can't imagine an 11 year old who would lie to save her own butt."

So, being the dedicated (did I mention that already) teacher that I am, I let Mrs. ME know how the directions were explained, yada yada yada. I kindly asked her to call me if she had any other questions. Of course, she did, oh of course. Mrs. ME said that she detected from the "tone" of my email that I was defending my actions. She agreed that her child, Mini-Manipulator, was unprepared. But, lucky for me, she would still like to call me to further discuss this event on Monday. I just can't wait!

One of the hardest things about being infertile is watching all of the morons in society multiply with such ease. In fact, it has been my experience that this sub-population is more likely to reproduce like a rabbit. I often feel like I'm a ticking time bomb when it comes to being called out by the Mr. and Mrs. Makes Excuses of the World. It is only a matter of time before I really let them have it. I don't know if it's the infertility, or the sheer annoyance at the lack of responsibility that this population takes for its offspring, but my blood is really boiling.

Mrs. Makes Excuses said she detected "tone." I so desperately wanted to write her back with 5 fuck yous, 8 blow mes, and 17 eat shits. I wonder if she'd be smart enough to detect the "tone" in that.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'm already feeling better.