Down, and then Up, and then Down, and then Up

Things have been hectic over the last few daze. Rollercoaster ride is in full effect.

Yesterday SUCKED as far as hills and valleys! I woke up with my Lupron bleed (hill), went to work and met a real C U Next Tuesday faculty member from our middle school. You know, I really have to wonder sometimes about people's qualifications. This peer is one of the "guidance counselors" yet I was so uncomfortable in her presence, my right arm pit started acting up. Did I mention she was pregnant? Did I mention she was obnoxious, defensive, and all around icky? Did I need to spend the entire day in meetings with her? Um, yes. (valley) First intense IEP meeting completed (hill), harshly confronted by the orchestra teacher with zero communication skills between meetings(valley). I won't bore you with the convo, but I will tell you that she confronted, I calmly retorted, she came back with, "Let me tell you, honey. I've been in this district for 30 years," (VALLEY!!!!) I literally felt my blood pressure rising. Did she just fucking call me "honey?" Okay, Er...calm down, don't hit her. Be the professional. Just so you know, I was shaking. From anger. From frustration. From wanting to fucking knock her into next week. Do you know I'm medicated right now? I will seriously rip your fucking head off? Good thing I'm able to have inner dialogue AND listen at the same time, 'cause she was trying to tell me that she agreed with my first statement. Like I said, though, her communication skills are sub par. Discussion ended well. I now think she's a dirty piece of shit, but hey, what she doesn't know, won't hurt her. I walked away looking professional. (hill)

An hour later, I have to excuse myself from another parent meeting due to "weird" feelings in stomach and head. Sit on toilet with head between legs and focus on breathing. Stand up, blurred vision ensues. The room is beginning to spin and it ain't 'cause I had Bailey's in my decaf. (valley) Head to school nurse, blood pressure is high. (valley) Have to lay down on germy school beds. (valley) Husband is called and on his way (hill), nurse and a few others including principal stop in to see me and I start to cry. Uncontrollably. Because I'm pissed. And frustrated. I'm doing everything right and I still can't control how my body reacts to the medication. And now my coworkers have seen my heart. (valley)

Get home, vision gets better. (hill) RE's office calls to reschedule my u/s and bloodwork for this morning. Tell the nurse about visual disturbances. Hmmmm...she seems a little too concerned. I quickly tell her it was probably an optical migraine brought on by assholes. I have them from time to time. She'll call me back. Uh oh. Quick call back. Doctor says you need to be cleared by the emergency room doctors before stimulation meds will be administered. (valley) DH takes me and we wait. And wait. And wait. I'm obviously (and rightly so) low priority. Did I ever mention that I'm a complete germaphob? I'd prefer another HSG to a visit to the ER. Anyway, get called back after 3 hours in hell. Private room with tv. (surprising hill) Confirmed with an optical migraine and released. (hill) Walking through the final hallway towards the entrance when the stench of someone's fecal matter wafts into our noses. I'm not kidding. Some poor person literally shit themselves while in the ER halls. (BIGGEST VALLEY OF THE DAY!!!)

Took a mental sick day today. May still take one tomorrow. (hill) No cysts, bloodwork looks good. Start stims tomorrow. (hill) Great acupuncture session, no needles in the pubic area tonight. (hill) Went to dinner with my sister where we talked about funny sexual encounters and other topics not involving IVF. (hill)

Things are looking up...for now.