Quick update from the front lines:
~~Stim meds have been dropped to 1 vial of Meno.pur only. The RE noted that I stimulate quickly - hmmmmmm...didn't I TELL them this already?!? No biggie though, because things are moving along nicely. Or so they say.
~~Next u/s and bloodwork appointment is tomorrow - tentative retrieval on Monday! MONDAY!!!!!! I can't believe it is almost here. I'm kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, 'cause it always seems to. But maybe, just maybe, my luck is gonna change. I'm in dangerous territory right now - I'm allowing myself to actually hope again. What the fuck though, I can live each day thinking it won't happen to protect my heart, and if it doesn't, I'll still be heartbroken. So, I'm gonna allow myself to feel excited and time will tell...
On another note, I had lunch with a good friend, M, yesterday. We used to work together at my old school - she rocks! Anyway, she has a beautiful little girl, Julianna, and I was able to get much needed baby love and luck from her while visiting. Right before I headed home, M said to be, "Er, I will totally carry your child for you should your journey ever come to that. I know you think I'm crazy, but I'm completely serious. I've already talked it over with B (hubby) and I even told my mom that I wanted to do this for you."
I go, "Um, M. I really appreciate it. I more than appreciate it, but it involves injections and u/s and bloodwork and your body will go through all sorts of changes again."
She goes, "Listen, Er. I only have one life and if I could do this for you, it would mean the world to me. I'm not interested in money, just in helping you have your child."
Then she cried. I kinda cried. I was in SHOCK! I've had my sister and cousin offer to be surrogates, if needed, but this was completely unexpected. She told me that she LOVED being pregnant and isn't planning on having another child of her own for like 3 years. She talked about how she'd take care of herself, promised me she wouldn't drink (HA!) and would eat organic (double HA!) She said she was excited! As I type this now, I'm still in SHOCK! (on a side note - obviously we would compensate her - which brings up another issue - how do you put a monetary value on your unborn child?)
I know that I'm not there yet, and maybe won't ever need to be...but if I ever do - I have 3 loving offers and I feel so utterly blessed and supported. It's beyond fantastic to feel this amount of love and gratitude. I don't think I've ever felt such a sense of calm this close to retrieval. It's a nice place to be.
Consumption 15
9 hours ago
Erica, it won't be long now and you'll be having your ER! In terms of how do you thank someone enough for offering to be a surrogate for you? You just say thank you over and over and over again. There's never going to be enough gratitude in my opinion. If she offered to carry w/o compensation, then why would you compensate her. My GC would be insulted if I tried to give her money, but I certainly can give her gifts OR set up a college fund for her little girl. Either way nothing you do will ever show your gratitude, but from what I've heard from others is that when a surro hands the baby over to the parents that moment is worth it all.
ReplyDeleteTo answer your questions from my blog:
In order to determine the chromosomal normalcy of the embryo/fetus/baby they take a sample of cells, stain them, and look at their chromosomes (it's called a karyotype). They are looking to see that the baby has 23 pairs of chromosomes (22 pairs of autosomes & 1 pair of sex chromosomes). This gives them the number 46 as normal and either XY (boy) or XX (girl). (Funny ... I'm teaching this in my biology classes next week!)
Karyotyping can be done on anyone (it's what they do during an amnio or CVS), but they don't do it on pre-implantation embryos very often. PGD doesn't map out all of the chromosomes, but rather looks for single gene defects (and it will show some of the bigger chromosomes). CGH (the new experimental practice of CCRM) does get a full picture of all 23 pairs of chromosomes, but it's costly, only offered in the study phase at CCRM and SIRM, and isn't fool proof.
I demanded to have the testing done on this fetal tissue because it's m/c #5. I haven't had it done with any other losses, but a karyotype was done on Myles as it's done with all preemies.
great news on the very soon ER!
ReplyDeleteThat is incredibly generous of your friend.
Hopefully, you'll be pregnant in 2 weeks, and on your way!
Erica! I'm so happy reading this. I can't believe you are so close. And on top of it to have a friend with such a beautiful heart that loves you that much to offer a gift like that. That's incredible.
ReplyDeleteNot that you are going to need it though...you will be knocked up in no time at all. Love ya girl!
Wow, Erica, your cycle is moving along beautifully! You are so close, pretty soon you'll be posting about that BFP! So excited for you, friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a sweet friend you have to offer such a huge gift!
I'm so excited for you! I hope everything goes smoothly and that Monday goes well. Maybe this is it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, you weren't kidding about moving fast! Monday, yikes. I think my ER will we on Thursday, but we will see. I'm glad you have such a supportive friend and family but let’s hope this cycle works so it won't come to that! I'll be thinking about you! On a side note, I'm so tired that I almost fell asleep during my u/s this morning!
ReplyDeleteMy bestfriend just offered me the same thing...my mom and other friend did too, but my bestfriends was so out of the blue that it really tugged at my heart strings. I am glad you have a friend who loves you that much, and I pray it never comes down to that!
ReplyDeleteErica, please never lose hope and get excited...your day will come and it may be MONDAY!!! :)
I think that sometimes we get so used to the stupid and thoughtless comments from the fertiles, that when one actually steps up and says or does something so sincere and heartfelt as your friend M it takes us completely by surprise. I'm glad your cycle is going so well. I will be thinking about and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are moving fast! GL with monitoring this weekend!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredibly kind, generous & giving friend you have.
have a good weekend!
Wow, you are almost there! Hoping that the b/w and US went well today and that you can retrieve on Monday, how appropriate around Easter! What a wonderful thing for your friend to offer!! very touching.
ReplyDeleteOn your note about Dr.V.....too funny, I can see what you mean though. He does truly listen and is so caring. definitely in a geeky sort of way. I can't wait to hear what Thank you he might get in 9 months from you....we might have to do something jointly if he gets me knocked up soon. LOL.
woo-hoo....fingers are crossed for you!
OMG. ER on monday? i'm so super excited for you!!! can't wait to hear how things go over the weekend.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! That means you trigger tomorrow! How exciting!! I hope you are feeling ok today.
ReplyDeleteBtw, you don't put a price on your baby. You compensate for the location you are 'renting' out. Hee hee. I would compensate too. Good to make things nice and clear and legal and whatever to make it clear.
Good luck!!
Sweet! I'm so glad things are moving along quickly for you. ER and ET are such an optimistic, hopeful time - you definitely should be excited. I hope this is the one for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd give your friend a hug from all of us. What an awesome girl!
Yay! Monday is coming up quickly...it's hard not to hope. And what an incredible friend you have...really.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe your retrieval is on Monday!!! That's so fast....
ReplyDeleteHow cute is your friend?! It just shows what a rock star you are that you have three people willing/wanting to do this for you.
Good luck on Monday!!!
I am keeping it all crossed for you for this cycle!!! Your friend sounds really sweet.
ReplyDeleteOh Erica, that is so amazingly fantastic! I've got tears in my eye! Your friend is a beautiful woman. You are so lucky to have her in your life! Feel all of this and enjoy it. I'm SO excited for you!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing place you are in right now. Very happy for you.
ReplyDeleteYour friend rocks.
ReplyDeleteI hope, hope, hope you won't need to even consider her offer.
I am happy that you have such great friends and family in your life.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on Monday!
OMG!!! I can't believe its happening so soon for you. That is awesome!!! I wish you sooo much luck this weekend with everything and that you get to the retrieval early next week. As for your friend that was an absolutely beautiful offer. You are very lucky to have such an amazing friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you!!! First, you are having a great cycle!!! Good luck with retrieval. Second, what a wonderful friend you have! That's just amazing. I hope it doesn't come to that but it's nice to know you have options.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your comment. We had planned a week long trip I was really looking forward to but since we have to cancel because we are taking so much time to go to CCRM. :-(
Oh Erica! That is so exciting - all of it!
ReplyDeleteHere's to your ER on Monday and hoping that you have lots of beautiful eggs cookin' in there.
And I love when people offer such things with their heart. There is no other feeling greater than that. Hoping it doesn't come to that - but knowing you have love and support from thos 3 has to mean a lot to you.