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a wife, daughter, sister, and friend who has dealt with infertility and is now learning to accept all that life has to offer

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Is It Wednesday Yet?

Okay, so here's the deal. I totally signed up for Comment Week and I'm totally going to bail. I am living in pure hell - waiting for this beta might KILL me. I'm not even exaggerating. I completely forgot how awful it is to wait this fucker out. I seem to lose more confidence and positive energy as I get closer and closer to test day. Why is that?

I had my final acupuncture session today prior to the test, and V.H. gave me a pep talk. It was quite good, blunt, and to the point. Although whether I can do it remains to be seen. He insisted that I ignore EVERY cramp, twinge, bloat, etc... feeling and realize that whether I have symptoms or not, it doesn't dictate the outcome of my beta. I can bleed and be pregnant. I can have cramps and be pregnant. I can feel nothing and be pregnant. Or, maybe I won't be. Nonetheless, he thinks I need to do everything in my power to keep my focus off of my body. Yeah, okay.

The other piece of advice he gave me was to stay out of the blogosphere until my results came back. My DH agrees. I will miss you all, but I kinda think I need to do all that I can to avoid all things "related to baby."

So, I'm signing off and skipping out on Comment Week. I'm sorry. I carry each of you in my hearts everyday - I truly do. I'll be back on Wednesday night with a simple post to let you know the results. Please, oh please, keep me in your prayers, thoughts, and hearts. I somehow need to find the strength to make it until Wednesday. Oh yeah, and please head over to my dear friend A Few Good Sperm. She's also waiting this out and could use the extra support. Her beta is also Wednesday.

37 comments:

  1. Hoping and pulling for you.

    If you need to chat, I am only an email away.

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  2. The 2 week wait definitely sucks! I feel ya. Good luck!

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  3. I completely understand.
    I am hoping that everything goes as planned for you.
    RED RED RED

    Until next time!!
    xxxxx

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  4. Erica- you make total sense, i am praying for you, both for serenity between now and wednesday and of course, a positive beta on wednesday. ((hugs))

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  5. Oh, I get it. I've thought I should do that sometimes too, but I haven't been able to yet.

    I'll be thinking of you this week! My beta is the following Monday... :-/

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  6. Praying for you!! I'll be checking in next Wed.!

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  7. good luck - i hope wednesday brings only good news

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  8. As always, sending prayers and good thoughts! I hope that Wednesday comes quick and with good news!

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  9. I am going to miss you, but I completely agree! I think it is best to stay away for a while.....it can be crazy making.....

    I hope the wait goes quickly for you!!! Good luck!!!!!

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  10. go kick some butt! Come back all preggo next wednesday! GO GIRL!

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  11. Take all the time you need. Spend the next 5 days PAMPERING YOURSELF. Can't wait to hear your beta on Wednesday. Praying for you.

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  12. OH NO!!! I'm gonna go through withdrawal!!! :) But I agree, it's probably better for you to stay away. I'll be thinking about you. (((hugs)))

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  13. Erica, I totally get it:) I'll be praying for you and waiting impatiently for your return...

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  14. I have been thinking about you so much, Erica!! Thanks for the update...I am praying for you and your sanity over these next few days. Part of me thinks I can imagine how awful this tww must be, but then I know that I have no clue. ((hugs))

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  15. I don't envy you right now. I HATE WAITING!!! However, you are PUPO!!!! I'm soooooooooo hoping this is it for you! :-)

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  16. best of luck, I hope the time away helps you keep sane and that wednesday brings fantastic news

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  17. I agree, it may help to stay away. My 2nd IVF 2ww was pure hell. It is one reason I tested early, to "get it over with".

    Hoping sticky thoughts for you!!!

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  18. Arghhh! The tww-- sorry it has been especially hellish. Hope you have a wonderfully distracting weekend and know I'll be sending you good thoughts all this week! take care.

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  19. Erica, you completely have the rights to stay out for the 2ww...I want you to rest assured that we will think of you and that you do not have to bear the guilt of signing up and not doing it. It is ICLW, not the National Elections!

    Also, I am sending you lots of positive vibes and good wishes...Be good.

    *ICLW*

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  20. Ahhhh, thanks so much for the shout out. I will be thinking about you! Don't feel bad, I cried at my acupuncture appointment yesterday! Yeah, just a ball of emotions here. Good luck on Wednesday!!!!

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  21. Erica, you've been in my thoughts as I know how hard the 2WW is and was for me. I think you're doing the right thing to "try" and take your minds off things and staying out of blogshere does help with that. I'm praying for you!! Good luck!

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  22. you can do it!! i will be thinking about you lots and sending tons of positive vibes your way!!! xoxo

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  23. Wishing you SO much luck, and sending peace to get through the 2ww. You are so right, that it gets worse near the end of the wait. I also had to stay away from the blogs in the last few days before my beta - I was making myself crazy with other people's news. I hope you can find something to distract you. GOOD LUCK!!

    PS - I just finished the final twilight book, they were such a good distraction during my wait! Now I need to go see the movie, pronto. :)

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  24. Good luck - I really hope you manage to get through the rest of your 2WW.

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  25. Those 2 week waits are the longest 14 days EVER. Good luck and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you..

    Don't feel bad about iclw, it will be here next month!

    Mr. Shelby (from iclw)

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  26. Hoping the best for you as you beta approaches.

    iclw

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  27. I totally understand. You don't quite remember the hell of the 2ww until you are in it again. Good luck!!

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  28. hi, I am visiting from ICLW...No. 35 to say hello and to check out your blog.
    My Little Drummer BoysGoodluck I have been in that position of waiting for beta after IVF .Praying for you too. Right now.

    Dear Lord, Please give Erica “peace” at this time. Cover her in your hedge of protection and give her the ability to "breathe" deeply and through to Wednesday.

    Fill her with your strength so that she may get through each day, knowing You are there with her every step of the way. I pray for her comfort in knowing You are in control. Amen.

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  29. Thinking of you. Be well. *hug*

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  30. Thinking of you and dying to hear an update!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lots of prayers and positive vibes!

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  31. Come on good news!!! Thinking only good thoughts for you!!!!

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  32. I know that you aren't 'here' but wanted you to know that I am praying for you. I saw Dr SA for my first monitoring US, looking good so far. can't wait for your post!!

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  33. It's almost Wednesday! I can't wait much longer, lol.

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