They're Here!!!!!!!!!

Here's the scoop: I was admitted into the hospital for worsening pre-eclampsia symptoms on Monday night - totally shocked and freaked out. I definitely did NOT want to have to sleep with those damn monitors on all night and I thought my OB was being a bit overprotective. Thank God for her though! I ended up staying all day Tuesday for monitoring and by that evening, the protein in my urine had doubled. In the middle of the night, I started having "for real" labor contractions and let me just say - OH MY GOD.....DO THEY HURT! Lots of injections to stop contractions (boys were only 34 weeks, etc...), steroid injections (just in case they come early, let's help with their lungs, etc...) and too many other occurances to even recall accurately. The bottom line is this...by Wednesday morning my high risk OB came to see me and told me the longer I stayed pregnant, the more dangerous it would become for me and the boys. An hour after that, my regular OB came to visit and gave us the option of a C-section or induced labor. My head was spinning, to put it mildly. We decided on the section for several reasons, but mostly because I "felt" that my body was not going to react well to the number of cocktails I'd need to first, induce labor and then, to prevent seizures (from the pre-eclampsia) On top of all those artificial drugs, I knew I'd be opting for the epidural too, and I just didn't feel right about it. Once we made the decision, we literally had 25 minutes to pack up that hospital room and prepare for surgery. My husband quickly took some video footage of me since we had very little pics of my pregnant belly. We were hoping to have a cute one done of the two of us on Thansksgiving - again...can you ever really prepare for what life has coming your way? I think not.

Anyway, I was in the operating room by 9:30 - spinal tapped like 2 minutes later - then lying flat on the operating table with a crew of abot 500 looking over me. My husband was called in and brought to sit by my head and hold my hand. Connor Michael was born at 9:48 am and Jack Thomas came a minute later. The boys were quickly swaddled and put on my chest for about 15 seconds each and then they were gone. I didn't see them again until 5:00 the next evening. What occurred next was just a blur to me, and thank God for that. I know that I lost a lot of blood and that several different residents and my OB were pulling out clots that had formed. I won't get into how they did that - you would puke! I remember them discussing that I might need a blood transfusion, but I don't really think I processed THAT until yesterday when the fog of all that had just happened to me began to lift. You might be wondering why it took me 24 hours to see my boys...well, one of the negative post-delivery treatments of pre-eclampsia is an IV drip of magnesium sulfate. It puts the body's muscles in an extreme state of relaxation in order to prevent me from seizuring. It also puts you into a fog unlike anything I've ever experienced. For the next 24 hours, all I remember thinking was...I just had phantom babies. Where are they? How strange is this? Did I really just deliver? And the weirdest thing of all was that I was okay with the fact that they weren't with me. Perhaps that was the only wonderful side effect of the med - the ability to forget that you just had children and weren't doing the typical bonding that most other moms get to do.

The boys are both in the NICU and will probably be there for some prematurity issues they need to work out for about 2 weeks. I know that it's going to be beyond difficult to leave the hospital tomorrow without them, but dammit, I'm focusing on the positive. I feel so blessed right now and I WILL have my boys home with me soon. In the meantime, my DH and I have already planned to come everyday for at least 2 of their feedings. This is the best time to take them out, hold them, and cuddle them. They know our voices too. It's crazy. My God, I feel like the luckiest women in the world right now. I will try my best to post some pics at some point in the next couple of days. For now, you'll just have to believe me that they are so freaking cute AND TINY - they look kinda like wrinkled old men - HA! I'm doing what I can to fatten them up though. In fact, I started breast pumping two days ago but that's an entirely different post. LOL!

Okay, I feel like this post has become one long ramble..could be from the lovely percocets I'm on :) Or maybe it's because all of a sudden I've become a mother. I can't believe it. After all of this hell, I'm now the mother of Jack and Connor.